Good Uses For Math And Its Notebooks

As many of you know, I harbor a deep loathing towards all things mathematical — excluding such things as addition when it comes to paychecks — and have never been good at it past algebra II. I simply do not comprehend how a writer will ever use these things except perhaps under the following circumstances:

1. Your editor has published fifteen books by you and knows three of them are western space odysseys. However, he needs to figure up how many are not western space odysseys. Whatever shall we do? Answer: 3 + X = 15

2. You have sold fifteen million copies of five books about depressed spiders. You receive 10% of each book ($10 each for pity’s sake). Calculate if you dare. Answer: 15,000,000(10)(.10)=Royalty

3. The only people who read your latest tome was your grandmother and Great-Aunt Toots. If your publishers printed 800,000 copies at $8.95 per printing, how much does the entire corporation hate you? Answer: loads.

4. You are a bad writer and earn two nickels. You are forced to become a mathematician and learn math. Answer: instead, become an orc.

These are but a few examples in which, yes, I do admit, I will require math.

It is thus that I am nearly convinced to switching to an English major next year instead of my current business major (one of many reasons — I’m not simply running from the horrors created by numbers). I understand that yes, Archimedes, Lazare Carnot, and Konrad Zuse may have been wonderful thinkers. But I simply have no use for functions that take 15 minutes to do and an entire whiteboard to explain one problem.

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If my constant ranting isn’t proof enough, these photographs should convince you what I am actually made for. These are of my real math notebooks that I use in class, highlighted so you can see what I am really doing on the page. Observe:

It appears in the previous one that I attempted to start on one of those awful number problems from Mordor, but then suddenly had a new idea and got distracted with plotting it out.

In this example, I got even less done. In fact, all I was able to do was print the subject and lesson number of whatever was being taught that day. I did, however, solve a big plot snag that was causing me headache.

This page has almost equal parts math and Other Things, a rare occurrence. I was in class and suddenly remembered that John Green was coming near my city and I wanted to go see him.

Speaking of seeing people, I will be at the Twilight film premiere on November 17th in LA. Speaking of November 17th, I will be participating in a panel with multiple other sites and some of the Twilight cast on November 16th if you want to come out and say hi. Speaking of saying hi, browse my calendar page so you know where I am and can stalk me all the easier.