Dallas Versus Hurricane Ike
September 13th, 2008 at 4:10 pm by --KALEB NATION--
In case you live under a rock and haven’t heard, Hurricane Ike is coming through Texas right now, and it looks as if it might actually hit as high as my apartment in Dallas. Observe the reasons for citywide concern:
In this image, you can see Ike (the ginormous whirling demonic thing in the corner) and me (the tiny red trembling dot). Ike appears to be nearly the size of Texas, which for all of you geographically challenged people is the second largest state in the US.
Yesterday, it was very sunny, which was very sneaky of the hurricane because nobody would have believed it was coming. We were told to chain down all of our bikes and porch furniture. I got to work on that, and then looked in the mirror, and saw something like this:
My hair had become horrifyingly long, as I haven’t had it cut since three weeks before I went to Austin. And as the Robert Pattinson, just-slithered-out-of-bed-and-I’m-ready look doesn’t exactly look good on me, I decided it would be a wonderfully prudent idea to get it done now. My reasoning behind this:
- If Ike obliterates the place I get my haircut, my hair will grow to abysmal lengths while I search for someone nearly as Fantastic as Sam’s, and
- If Ike obliterates me, at least I’ll die clean cut.
This had the negative effect of my hair being a little lopsidedly short, as it usually is the day of it getting cut (added benefit: during hurricanes, you can’t leave the house, and nobody sees). Unfortunately, I had to pick that day to go test out my new BlogTV channel, on which me and someone famous are going to be doing a live show. After we got it working, we thought we needed some people to test it with us, so we went to my chatroom and invited everyone over for a sneak peek. This turned into a broadcasting-until-2-am party, which was riotously fun until my eyelids began to droop. So, whoever happened to be in there: you got a look how monstrous I can appear after 2 AM
I’m looking out the window right now and it’s slowly getting darker, and the pre-40-mph winds are starting to brush the trees about. Coincidentally, it is hitting on a weekend (no doubt some diabolical plan from the college so that we don’t get a bad weather day from class). We have been told to stockpile water and food. If we get flooded in, I’ll be living off water and lasagnas for quite a while longer.