Miley Cyrus and Friends

Currently, there are four music artists I refuse to devote an entire post to:

1. Britney Spears

2. Madonna

3. Miley Cyrus

4. Barney The Dinosaur

And then, as if to spite me, Britney puts out a record with three listenable tracks, Madonna smashes out an album that is 3/12′ths okay, and Barney The Dinosaur puts out that super smash-hit The Baby Bop Hop, which I could hardly resist writing a post about (as well as that other sure-to-be-radio-success, If You’re Happy And You Know It).

Ok, I am going on a complete tangent here. You won’t believe it, but to write that last line I actually looked up a Barney The Dinosaur music album. Let’s imagine for a second that you’ve never heard of Barney, and the album art does not show a purple dinosaur, but instead a skull and crossbones, with the Grim Reaper laughing at you. Then, read these song titles with the darkest voice you can imagine:

Listen To The Nighttime

Ducks I Once Knew

Hey! Look At Me! I Can Fly!

Welcome To Our Treehouse (MUHAHHAHAHA!)

Do I hear scary creatures of the night, a duck slaughterhouse, illegal substances and a treehouse prison? Or maybe I’m just a little loopy.

Anyway, you inevitably came here to listen to the new Miley Cyrus song Seven Things, so I’ll just post it and say nothing and hope nobody notices:

Yes, I can promote Twilight. But no guy will ever listen to this frizzle. But I know why Certain People come, and they’ll be pestering me for weeks if I don’t post it.

Also, the theme to Speed Racer:

All I want to say is that better not be Lil Mama singing in the Speed Racer song, or else they have ruined an icon from my youth known as Speed Racer, which no one will be able to replace once Lil’s through with it.

Please do not ask  me for the full track to the Miley Cyrus song. The album comes out on July 22. If you want an early copy, email Miley. I’m sure she has them lying around a-plenty